This was the sweetest Mother’s Day yet – perhaps ever – because I got my first gift from Evelyn that she did by herself.
She made me earrings. They’re really pretty.
Her school had a lovely tea party for moms. Now I’m hearing that this is a common trend among preschools, but I had no idea. The kids rearranged their snack room so tables would be “intimate”. They passed out tea bags & sugar, brought us china teacups and saucers, and some of the older kids poured water. They sang a song and passed out cookies they’d baked. It was simple and sweet and perfect – the best was Evelyn’s face when I told her I was going to be at school for Tea Party Day.
This year I spent much of the day wondering about the woman who gave birth to my youngest. Many have asked, and the answer is yes, I have met Claire’s biological mother and father and we have ongoing communication with the families – but I can’t imagine what this experience has been like for her or how Mother’s Day affected her. She entrusted this little person into our care – she asked me to be her mother – and that isn’t something anyone can take lightly.
Motherhood is a gift, and every year on this holiday I’m reminded how it almost didn’t happen for me. It’s frustrating and sad, but it’s there, and that’s OK with me. It’s OK to be sad about the cards you’re dealt sometimes. The sadness helps me treasure all the ups and downs of parenthood. It’s hard and exhausting and usually thankless, but also thrilling – unexpected – full of wonder and pockets of utter contentment. This mother’s day I was – yet again – overwhelmed with love for my girls – with gratitude for the chance to parent – and I joyfully spent an afternoon on a tiny stool listening to a preschool ditty with my teacup in hand.
I joke about how Claire was dropped into our lap – that’s not really true – we searched for her. We went out and fought for our family. We worked through loss and grief and heartache, hoping to have a family some day. It’s changed our world view – our fundamental beliefs – and forever altered the way we live our lives. It’s the reason we could pick up and move – hitting a “reset” button, if you will. “Stop the glorification of busy” has become a mantra of mine. We strive to take it easy. We relax. We marvel at these girls as they grow and change and I’m so thankful that we have this time, fleeting as it is. Like every mother I know, I love my children fiercely and am so thankful for getting this chance to reshape our lives – to try and shape our days so our time is more in line with our priorities.
We waited for our girls – there was a time when I wasn’t sure we’d ever have children, but here they are – two beautiful, bright eyed, cheerful little elves, always up to mischief and driving me from one extreme to another. Our family is unexpectedly complete – the waiting is finally over – and what a relief it is to look into the future and finally know what our family looks like. Now we get to sit back and help them navigate their own lives. What an adventure that will be 🙂